Inevitably, her thoughts turned to David and her face lit up as she thought of her boyfriend of over a year. So much had transpired in the time they’d been together. Personally and professionally, they’d seen tremendous growth. She’d finished her film degree at UCLA and her modeling and acting career had expanded as well. She’d had the chance to work with industry giants like Tyra Banks and Giselle Bundchen, with more opportunities on the horizon. David’s music career was also thriving. He’d been nominated for a Grammy award and was now working on his next album, collaborating with some of music’s most respected artists.
I’m a lucky girl, she thought to herself, putting the finishing touches on her makeup. David was every girl’s dream – warm, attentive, romantic, not to mention gorgeous. But, most importantly, he loved her. She thought about how their relationship had deepened and how they’d grown even more connected. He appreciated and respected her completely as she was, not asking for more than she could give. With him, she was safe.
She knew that was why they hadn’t talked about marriage, even though a lot of their friends seemed to be taking the plunge. Recently they’d attended a couple of engagement parties. Each time, as she looked at the naively happy couples and wished them well, she almost pitied them. Why ruin a good thing for the scary uncertainty of a walk down the aisle? She was thankful that David understood. Though unspoken, they both knew that marriage was often anything but blissful and Jasmine was relieved that they were both on the same page.
_________________________________________________________________
Across town, David slipped the little black box into his pocket as he prepared to walk out the door. He sighed as he thought about the craziness of the past few weeks. Not only had he been wrapping up his new album, he’d also been planning this night. He couldn’t think of a time when he’d ever been so busy but tonight it would all be worth it. Tonight he would ask Jasmine to be his wife.
They’d only dated for a year and a half but it felt like much longer. He’d known pretty quickly that she was the one he wanted to spend his life with but hadn’t wanted to rush things. Because of what they’d both been through with their parents, he wanted to be sure that they were ready for this next step. And yet, in the end he’d decided to step out on faith and trust the love and trust they had for each other. After all, what was love without risk?
_____________________________________________________________________
They’d only dated for a year and a half but it felt like much longer. He’d known pretty quickly that she was the one he wanted to spend his life with but hadn’t wanted to rush things. Because of what they’d both been through with their parents, he wanted to be sure that they were ready for this next step. And yet, in the end he’d decided to step out on faith and trust the love and trust they had for each other. After all, what was love without risk?
_____________________________________________________________________
“David, did you hear what I said?” asked Jasmine as they sat at dinner.
David blinked and looked at her as if seeing her for the first time.
“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought about something I need to discuss with Kari at our meeting tomorrow.
“You’ve been distracted all night. What’s going on?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he said. He reached across the table and took her hand. “These past couple of weeks have been so frantic and I can’t seem to shut off my thoughts tonight. Forgive me. How can I make it up to you?”
He gave her his best puppy dog face.
Jasmine smiled in spite of herself. “You know I can’t be mad at you when you do that. You’re forgiven.”
He grinned. “Just like that?”
“Just like that,” she said. “ I’ve just been worried about you lately.” There was a concerned look on her face.
“No worries. I’m fine. Why don’t we take a walk along the pier?”
“That sounds good,” said Jasmine, smiling.
As they got up from the table, David let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He took one last sip of water to soothe his parched throat and wiped his sweaty palms on his napkin before escorting Jasmine from the restaurant. It was time.
___________________________________________________________________
David blinked and looked at her as if seeing her for the first time.
“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought about something I need to discuss with Kari at our meeting tomorrow.
“You’ve been distracted all night. What’s going on?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he said. He reached across the table and took her hand. “These past couple of weeks have been so frantic and I can’t seem to shut off my thoughts tonight. Forgive me. How can I make it up to you?”
He gave her his best puppy dog face.
Jasmine smiled in spite of herself. “You know I can’t be mad at you when you do that. You’re forgiven.”
He grinned. “Just like that?”
“Just like that,” she said. “ I’ve just been worried about you lately.” There was a concerned look on her face.
“No worries. I’m fine. Why don’t we take a walk along the pier?”
“That sounds good,” said Jasmine, smiling.
As they got up from the table, David let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He took one last sip of water to soothe his parched throat and wiped his sweaty palms on his napkin before escorting Jasmine from the restaurant. It was time.
___________________________________________________________________
“What a beautiful night,” Jasmine remarked as they strolled along the pier. Birds flew overhead and the sky was painted vivid shades of orange and blue as the sun began its descent.
“It is,” David agreed.
Jasmine stopped and closed her eyes as they neared the end of the pier. David put his arms around her, pulling her close.
“You know, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he said, his cheek against hers.
She snuggled closer. “Hmm…me too,” she murmured, lost in the moment, in the feel of his arms.
“But, there’s something I need to come clean about.”
Jasmine raised her head. His tone was serious and so was his expression.
“Oh?” she said.
“I’ve been pretty distracted lately, but not really because of the album.”
Jasmine watched him intently, her heart beginning to race.
“I’ve been thinking about you. About us.”
“Really?” She felt uneasiness settle into the pit of her stomach.“What have you been thinking?”
He smiled at her tenderly and took a shaky breath. “I’ve been thinking about how much you mean to me and how grateful I am to have you in my life. I can’t remember what my life was like before you. But most of all, when I think of my future I think of you and our life together. I love you, Jasmine, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He knelt down on one knee.
Jasmine felt tears spring to her eyes. Wasn’t this the moment that most girls dreamed of? He’s never looked so happy, so hopeful, she thought as she looked at him. And yet, her sense of dread only deepened. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach and her palms began to sweat.
“David, don’t,” she said, her voice only a hoarse whisper.
Taking a ring box from his pocket, he looked up at her with his heart in his eyes. “Jasmine, will you marry me?”
At his words, her heart twisted within her as she looked at this man she loved so much. How could he do this?
“Jasmine?” he said, a look of deep concern on his face.
“I love you…but I can’t,” she said, panic rising within her. “I just can’t.”
David slowly rose to his feet. “Why?” His face was etched with shock and confusion.
“You know why. It just wouldn’t work.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t understand. Help me understand.” He paused, swallowing. “Is there someone else?”
She heard the pain in his voice. “Of course not. There’s never been anyone else.” How could she make him see?
“I just can’t be who you want me to be. I'm sorry.”
“What? Who I want you to be?” he asked.. “I don’t want you to be anyone else. Just you. I just want you.”
“You say that but why are you doing this?” she demanded, tears of frustration streaming down her face. “I thought you understood and yet you’re asking me to be someone I’m not. Why can’t we just leave things the way they are?”
“Jasmine, I’m asking you to trust me, to trust us.” He grabbed both of her hands.
“I do trust you,” she said. “That’s why this is such a shock.”
“Baby, I know you’re scared,” he said, wiping tears from her eyes. “But, just give us a chance. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“No, not intentionally but things happen. There are no fairy tale endings, David. Eventually, we’d end up hurting each other and hating each other. Is that what you want?”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” he said forcefully. “We are not our parents.”
“David…I can’t,” she said.
For a long moment, neither of them spoke and as she looked in his eyes she saw the heartbreak that mirrored her own. How could they ever go back to the way things were? The trust between them had been broken and she knew that he’d always want more from her. She knew what she had to do. A deep sadness settled into her heart.
“We can’t go back.”
David met her gaze and she saw the panic in his eyes. “Don’t do this,” he pleaded. “We don’t have to get married now. We can wait.”
“How long, David? A year? Two years? Five years? Don’t you see that it will never be long enough? I can’t give you what you want. It’s not fair to you.”
“I don’t care about fair!” he said desperately. “I just want to be with you. I love you!”
“I love you too,” she said, her voice breaking. “But can you look at me and honestly tell me that not being married will be enough for you? That you won’t long for more?”
Even before he spoke, Jasmine could see the truth in his eyes. He’d never been good at lying. “We can work it out,” he said helplessly. “We can still be together.”
She looked at him for a long time. This was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She closed her eyes and said the words that needed to be said. “Goodbye, David."
Even as she said it, she couldn't believe it was true. They couldn't be together. Everything inside her willed her to take it back, to somehow make it right. But it was too late.
She turned to leave.
David grabbed her arm. "No. Don't do this, Jasmine. I'll do whatever it takes...I just can't lose you."
"I love you." It took all she had not to pull him to her and never let go. Instead she kissed him, a tangle of sadness, passion and tears.
"I have to go." Her voice was a whisper. In that moment, she could almost hear his heart breaking and hated herself for it.
He looked at her in crushed resignation. Reluctantly, he loosened his grip and watched her walk away.
“It is,” David agreed.
Jasmine stopped and closed her eyes as they neared the end of the pier. David put his arms around her, pulling her close.
“You know, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he said, his cheek against hers.
She snuggled closer. “Hmm…me too,” she murmured, lost in the moment, in the feel of his arms.
“But, there’s something I need to come clean about.”
Jasmine raised her head. His tone was serious and so was his expression.
“Oh?” she said.
“I’ve been pretty distracted lately, but not really because of the album.”
Jasmine watched him intently, her heart beginning to race.
“I’ve been thinking about you. About us.”
“Really?” She felt uneasiness settle into the pit of her stomach.“What have you been thinking?”
He smiled at her tenderly and took a shaky breath. “I’ve been thinking about how much you mean to me and how grateful I am to have you in my life. I can’t remember what my life was like before you. But most of all, when I think of my future I think of you and our life together. I love you, Jasmine, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He knelt down on one knee.
Jasmine felt tears spring to her eyes. Wasn’t this the moment that most girls dreamed of? He’s never looked so happy, so hopeful, she thought as she looked at him. And yet, her sense of dread only deepened. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach and her palms began to sweat.
“David, don’t,” she said, her voice only a hoarse whisper.
Taking a ring box from his pocket, he looked up at her with his heart in his eyes. “Jasmine, will you marry me?”
At his words, her heart twisted within her as she looked at this man she loved so much. How could he do this?
“Jasmine?” he said, a look of deep concern on his face.
“I love you…but I can’t,” she said, panic rising within her. “I just can’t.”
David slowly rose to his feet. “Why?” His face was etched with shock and confusion.
“You know why. It just wouldn’t work.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t understand. Help me understand.” He paused, swallowing. “Is there someone else?”
She heard the pain in his voice. “Of course not. There’s never been anyone else.” How could she make him see?
“I just can’t be who you want me to be. I'm sorry.”
“What? Who I want you to be?” he asked.. “I don’t want you to be anyone else. Just you. I just want you.”
“You say that but why are you doing this?” she demanded, tears of frustration streaming down her face. “I thought you understood and yet you’re asking me to be someone I’m not. Why can’t we just leave things the way they are?”
“Jasmine, I’m asking you to trust me, to trust us.” He grabbed both of her hands.
“I do trust you,” she said. “That’s why this is such a shock.”
“Baby, I know you’re scared,” he said, wiping tears from her eyes. “But, just give us a chance. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“No, not intentionally but things happen. There are no fairy tale endings, David. Eventually, we’d end up hurting each other and hating each other. Is that what you want?”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” he said forcefully. “We are not our parents.”
“David…I can’t,” she said.
For a long moment, neither of them spoke and as she looked in his eyes she saw the heartbreak that mirrored her own. How could they ever go back to the way things were? The trust between them had been broken and she knew that he’d always want more from her. She knew what she had to do. A deep sadness settled into her heart.
“We can’t go back.”
David met her gaze and she saw the panic in his eyes. “Don’t do this,” he pleaded. “We don’t have to get married now. We can wait.”
“How long, David? A year? Two years? Five years? Don’t you see that it will never be long enough? I can’t give you what you want. It’s not fair to you.”
“I don’t care about fair!” he said desperately. “I just want to be with you. I love you!”
“I love you too,” she said, her voice breaking. “But can you look at me and honestly tell me that not being married will be enough for you? That you won’t long for more?”
Even before he spoke, Jasmine could see the truth in his eyes. He’d never been good at lying. “We can work it out,” he said helplessly. “We can still be together.”
She looked at him for a long time. This was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She closed her eyes and said the words that needed to be said. “Goodbye, David."
Even as she said it, she couldn't believe it was true. They couldn't be together. Everything inside her willed her to take it back, to somehow make it right. But it was too late.
She turned to leave.
David grabbed her arm. "No. Don't do this, Jasmine. I'll do whatever it takes...I just can't lose you."
"I love you." It took all she had not to pull him to her and never let go. Instead she kissed him, a tangle of sadness, passion and tears.
"I have to go." Her voice was a whisper. In that moment, she could almost hear his heart breaking and hated herself for it.
He looked at her in crushed resignation. Reluctantly, he loosened his grip and watched her walk away.
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